Cuts Don't Heal
by alltimelow777
Summary: So that's why you're here, in your bathroom, holding the sharp knife against your thighs, ready to cut and cut until there's no blood left in your body. Jat.


**Okay. I seriously apologize for the lack of updates. I've been sick and I've been taking antidepressants, and they're fucking with my head. I've needed some time to cool down, and get focused again. And I'm ready. I won't be writing any of the one-shots for a while, so if you don't want to wait, a couple other people put up stories similar to mine. And they'll most likely write them soon after you submit one. So, here's some angst and hurt/comfort to make up for the update lack.**

**Don't own Victorious. Duh.**

**You never used to care what people thought about you. You didn't care about anyone, and no one cared about you.**

**Then you met Beck. He showed you the love your family never gave you. He showed you what it was like to have a friend. And what did you do? You were such a bitch to him that the second he say a pretty girl do a backbend in yoga class, he dumped you on the spot.**

**Then, the shell you used to live in grew back, stronger than ever. The few people you grew close to when you and Beck were together got up and left you. They avoided you in the halls, they never sat by you in class, and, worst of all, they started hanging around with Beck again.**

**So that's why you're here, in your bathroom, holding the sharp knife against your thighs, ready to cut and cut until there's no blood left in your body. You're tired of people being openly rude to you, you're tired of pretending you don't care, and, most of all, you're tired of not being loved. By anyone. You're mom's a whore, you're dad's a drunk, and you're sister only cares about herself. You have no other family, no other friends. That's what you think as you make the first cut. It's small, not bleeding that bad. Then, you think about the people at school.**

**First, you think about Beck. You think about how he said over and over that he loved you, and that he knows you love him, you're just too proud to admit it. You think about how he helped you when you were struggling, how he took care of you when you were sick, and how he always knew what would make you feel better. You smile slightly as you remember those days, the days when you were as close to happy as you could possibly get.**

**Then, reality comes crashing back to earth as you think about the break up. You remember it well, too well. Beck convinced you to take yoga as a way to calm down and be less angry. Not even five minutes into the class, you catch Beck staring at that Alyssa Voughn girl. You poke his shoulder, causing him to swat your hand away. This makes you angry, so you jab his shoulder harder. He finally turns away from Alyssa as she gets a drink of water, making your initial anger grow much, much larger. As to not disturb the other people doing yoga, you take his arm and pull him over towards the door. You glare at him, before telling him off, saying he was staring at her in a way that made you feel uncomfortable. He reacts in a way that you weren't expecting. You were expecting a comforting hug, or a quick peck on the cheek. But no. He fucking broke up with you, stating that Alyssa was hotter and a better person than you were. Then, as you watch the man you thought you loved go over to Alyssa, you run out of the room, ignoring the teacher, ignoring everything.**

**A sharp pain on the inside of your thigh jerks you out of your thoughts. You glance down to see that you were pressing the knife on your skin while you were thinking. You had pressed much harder than your first cut, and it was bleeding. Bleeding bad. You grabbed the hand towel you keep next to the sink and attempt to help stop the bleeding, but it's not stopping. If anything, it got worse. You bend down, grimacing in pain as you do so, and grab your phone. You open your contact list to find it nearly empty, and you remember you're unloved, unwanted, so you wrench the rag away and toss it aside. You grab the knife and continue cutting, cutting all over your thighs until they're dripping red, all over you and the floor. You begin putting the knife down, pause, and bring it up to your wrists. You pause, knowing these would be more noticeable, before gently placing the knife on your wrists, and cutting open the flesh there. You wince at the pain, because your wrists have always been sensitive. You remember the pain you feel everyday you wake up, so you narrow your eyes, before making a few more cuts on your arm. You didn't mean to cut deep on your wrists, but your anger got the best of you. Your wrists and thighs were gushing blood, and you made no move to stop the bleeding. You knew there was only a matter of time before you passed out, then, finally, your life would end. So would the pain, misery, and hatred. You were thinking about how your family and the people at school would react when you heard a small gasp. You whirl around, but see no one. As you turn back around, you're startled to see Catarina Valentine, looking at you with a mixture of shock, concern, and hurt on her face.**

**You glare at her, your eyes boring into hers. She makes no move to leave, so you get up to try and push her out the door. As you begin to stand, a sharp pain in your thighs causes you to fall to the ground in agony.**

**"Jade!" You here Cat scream your name in panic, before feeling her arms wrap around your torso. As she holds you gently, you pull away, glaring at her.**

**"Why? Why did you leave me all along, full of pain and grief, with no one to love and no one to love me?" You ask her briskly. Her eyes cast downward and guilt washes over her features.**

**"Let's clean you up, and I'll tell you while I clean you," she whispers to you. You want to press on, want to tell her that you don't want her help, but you can't bring yourself to speak the words you think. The pain is clouding your head, and you want it to end. You don't want to die anymore, though. You want her to make the pain go away. You want her to fix your wounds, not only your legs and wrists, but your heart as well. You want her to make you love again, you want her to love you like Beck did.**

**She jerks you out of your thoughts as she gently lays you on the floor, before opening the medicine cabinet and pulling out the first aid kit. She gets a clean towel from under the sink and cleans off the wounds as best she could. Then, she reached in the first aid kit and pulls out the spray that you always hated as a child, for it made your wounds sting more than they had when you got them. You cringe, knowing that it's not going to feel pleasant on your cut up thighs. She squeezes your hand, before quickly spraying down your thighs. You grimace at the stinging pain that shoots up and down your body. She sprays as fast as she can, before moving onto your wrists. It hurts more on your wrists, since they're more sensitive. But as soon as she started, she finishes, so it wasn't as bad as you anticipated. She bandages your cuts, before pulling you into your room. She lays you down on your bed, before climbing on next to you. She takes a deep breath before launching into her explanation.**

**"I never wanted to leave you alone. And I wouldn't have if Beck hadn't threatened me. He said if he ever caught me hanging around you, he'd do bad things to me. And the look in his eyes were terrifying. I was scared for my life, my family, but, most importantly, I was scared for you. I didn't know what he would've done to you, and it hurt to think about it. I was only avoiding you to protect you," she said. She looked down at your cuts, only to start crying. "But it seems no matter what I had done, you would've gotten hurt."**

**You were speechless. No one had ever done anything like that for you. Not ever. Your heart reaches out to the crying girl, you want nothing more to brush away her tears, to make her never cry again, but you can't bring yourself to move. You do, however, muster up the strength to speak.**

**"Thank you, Cat," You say it quietly, for you're not strong enough to speak loudly yet. "But what made you think to come here?"**

**Her breathing hitches suddenly, and a new wave of tears start falling from her eyes. "After the last bell rung, I was standing with Tori, and you walked by. I had never seen a look in your eyes like that. It was filled with betrayal, hurt, and pain. I knew you were planning on doing something. I just didn't know what. So, I was doing my homework, but I wasn't concentrating on it. I was too busy thinking about what you might be doing. After a while, I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't care what Beck was going to do. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. So, I came over, walked in the door, and...here we are," Cat admitted sheepishly, the tears still falling, though not as strongly.**

**You were utterly shocked. No one's cared for you since you and Beck broke up. No one. Now, Cat's here, admitting she cares for you. Strongly. You felt a small smile tugging its way onto your lips, and as much as you tried to fight it, it still formed. You knew, here and now, that Cat cared. And that she wasn't going to leave you.**

**You closed your eyes for a moment, wanting to make sure it wasn't all a dream. But, before you opened them, you felt a soft pair of lips land on yours. Your eyes opened wide as you took in the fact that Cat was kissing you softly. Your brain was telling you that you shouldn't let yourself fall in love again, but your heart was telling you to go for it. She pulled away, looking at you with a hopeful look in her eyes.**

**"C-Cat...I don't know what...," You trailed off as her eyes filled with tears again.**

**"It's okay, Jade. I understand," she said, before running out of your room.**

**"Cat! Wait!" You screamed, needing her to come back. You heard the front door slam, and that's when you lost it. That's when all your tears started to fall. That's when you realized that when she took off, she took your heart with her. You sat up, knowing that tomorrow, you were going to make it all right.**

**Okay...I think I did an alright job. It's my first story told in second person, so I'm not sure if it's any good. Should I continue it? Or leave it like this? R&R.**


End file.
